To Give Credit

Provost Hickey has done quite well for himself considering the vertical oppression that exists in this world.*

* For an empirical analysis of why short people got no reason to live see: Judge and Cable (2004). The effect of physical height on workplace success and income: Preliminary test of a theoretical model, Journal of Applied Psychology, 89, 428-441.

The Difficulties of Persuasion

This remark from Upton Sinclair seems to fit a lot of high level UCF administrators: "It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it."

The Trouble with the Pegasus Model

Budgets for different units are affected to some extent by how much that unit grows (i.e., enrollment) relative to other units within UCF. So, it’s not enough that the Philosophy Department, for example, grew their enrollment. If they want to see their funding increased, they need to have grown their enrollment at a higher rate than the average department. I’ve heard administrators refer to this “Pegasus Model” budget allocation method as a zero sum game – the budget increases for some units will come at the expense of other units.

The reason this model screws students is it assumes it is always in their best interest for a fast growing unit to be rewarded with more employees and new computers. All the talk about UCF’s budget cuts have been focused on cutting low enrolled programs and limiting freshman and transfer enrollment. There is some merit to examining these possibilities. Limiting access will probably increase the value of the credential for those that earn it, although that cow is already out of the barn; there are some stupid low enrolled programs at UCF that should be eliminated. Still, it will be a great disservice to students for Hickey to not examine the budgets of units that have had success under the Pegasus model (i.e., fast growing) to see if they are using their increased resources efficiently in the service of students.

Layoff List

In these lean budget times, I’ve been thinking about saving UCF money. I was able to take about two minutes and generate a list of 15 completely unnecessary employees whose termination could save UCF around a million dollars a year. Here’s the really neat thing: if these employees were axed, students wouldn’t be impacted. There would be no increase in class size, degree programs eliminated, or student services reduced.

I’ve thought about delving deeper and publishing a larger list of UCF employees that could be safely eliminated with no adverse consequences. However, I’m hesitant to do it for two reasons. First, because UCF is such a gigantic mess, there are whole sections of the University with which I’m unfamiliar. Any list would be biased against those units with which I’ve had contact (I’ve never met a unit that wasn’t completely fucking wasteful). Because I’m not omniscient regarding all things UCF, some units would get a pass. Second, I don’t mind publicly humiliating those whose life choices have put them in the public eye (e.g., Hitt; Hickey; Heston; Jans; Mealor), but I don’t want to disgrace non-public figures who happen to be getting a lot of free money.

Still, it’s unfortunate that no one is discussing the possibility that in these lean budget times, it might just be possible to minimize the impact on students by decreasing the inefficiencies in the system.