Really Memorable UCF Stories of the Decade

UCF is doing a “survey” to determine the most memorable UCF stories of the decade. Here is my list:

– UCF wastes money and man hours to develop a survey to figure out the most memorable stories of the decade.

– UCF spends a ton of money on a new football stadium. After the novelty of the stadium wears off, attendance goes into a free fall.

– The new football stadium is built without any water fountains. Hitt initially opposes adding them but then caves to public pressure.

– State Senator Evelyn Lynn extorts UCF into hiring her daughter.

– UCF administrators give themselves big raises while the people who actually do work get scraps.

– UCF is exposed for lying about the circumstances surrounding the death of a football player. This gets national coverage on ESPN.

– David Mealor, an AVP in the Regional Campuses, is overpaid 85 grand. He has to go on a repayment plan. Everyone gets a kick out of this because Mealor is a dumb asshole.

– UCF hires an academically dishonest football coach. Coach loses more games than he wins.

– Hickey gets scammed when he buys herbal supplements that are supposed to make him taller.*

What have I missed?

* This is a joke, but it sounds like it could be true.