Thin Skinned

The Emperor Hitt won’t give interviews to the student-run Central Florida Future. They displeased him by running a negative picture of our dear leader. Over a decade ago, Hitt’s administration proposed limiting the use of bicycles on campus. On their editorial page, the Central Florida Future ran a picture of John Hitt’s head on the body of Adolph Hitler. They called him “Hitt-ler.” Even though all the students involved with this slander against our master are gone, Hitt still refuses to give interviews to the Central Florida Future.

Loyalty is essential to surviving as a non-tenured UCF employee. Incompetence, shiftlessness, or ethical missteps are all survivable actions, but if you go against “Hitt-ler” then you will be expelled from the community.