Sunday, December 28, 2008

Audacity

From the St. Petersburg Times:

When the criticism got too loud, Sen. Evelyn Lynn, R-Ormond Beach, decided to quit taking the $2,300-a-week salary for the one-year contract running the Florida Center for Reading Research — a program she got funded at Florida State University — while running the Senate's education budget committee.

"When people thought it was inappropriate, I decided I'll maintain my reputation. So I volunteered the rest of the contract and then quit," Lynn said. "Everybody's different. It means a great deal to me to maintain my reputation that I've had for 14 years."

At UCF, Senator Lynn’s reputation sucks. To those that know how she operates, she is seen as a manipulative bitch. The way she pressured UCF to hire her daughter, Karen Jans, was utterly unethical.

Here’s the story. Jans quit UCF because she couldn’t stand her boss, David Harrison. After a period of failure in the free market, she went back to Harrison to ask for employment. Because he couldn’t stand her any more than she him, he rejected her for employment at UCF (During this interview process, Harrison cruelly pretended that Karen was likely to be hired.)

It was at this juncture that the Senator started putting the legislative screws to UCF. This was easy because she is chair of the Senate’s Committee for Higher Education Appropriations. Because UCF values funding more than ethics, they hired Jans back for about 30k a year more than she made when she was previously employed by UCF. They also paid her out of Harrison’s budget but gave Harrison no authority over her.

Senator Lynn used the power given to her by the voters to get her daughter a sinecure funded by students and taxpayers. Her reputation is only good among the ignorant.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

UCF Loves Consultants

Of course, it is asinine for UCF to hire a lawyer/consultant to review the football program. Unless, contrary to his vocal support of O’Leary, Hitt is looking for cause to terminate O’Leary. Termination for cause would nullify O’Leary’s 5 million dollar buyout clause.

If You Build It, They Still Won’t Come

From an interview with UCF Athletic Director Keith Tribble:

Question: Attendance dropped this season, especially during the finale against UAB. Do you attribute that to the losing season and what will you do to bring the fans back next season?

It’s easy to say the record was a direct reflection to the fans’ lack of attendance. I think it was a combination of a lot of things. The economy, our students weren’t in town that particular weekend and a lot of people are leaving town. Traditionally, we’re a young institution. We haven’t had a lot of games like Florida-Florida State, Alabaman-Auburn or any other big rivalries that final weekend. Absent those types of games, we really need to educate our fans that it’s important to be there to support our team and send our seniors out on a positive note. I think we’ll continue to improve.

The fans need to be educated? Keith Tribble is the fucking asshole that needs to be educated. Here’s today’s lesson: Just because the king and his court want UCF to be a big-time football program doesn’t mean it is going to happen. People will purchase a product if it is something they want.

By the way, I predicted that attendance would drop.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Nicely Said

The Orlando Sentinel on the waste of money that is George O’Leary:

But Mr. Hitt bears the burden of this mess.

Smitten by Mr. O'Leary, despite his less-than-impressive body of work, UCF gave him a contract extension in May of 2006. Mr. O'Leary, who had been making $720,000 each year, hit the mother lode with the new deal: a 10-year contract extension paying $1 million a year, which could balloon to $1.5 million per year with incentives (including attendance benchmarks at football games). It also came with a fat, $5-million buyout clause, leaving UCF on the hook if it wanted to fire Mr. O'Leary.

That's a lot to shower on a coach whose UCF record at the time was 10-21.

Mr. O'Leary's salary is funded through an athletics association that receives money through various sources, including contributions and ticket sales. But student fees account for more than 40 percent of its budget. So every kid going to UCF is helping make Mr. O'Leary a rich man.

With such a steep buyout clause, UCF might have trouble coming up with the money even if it wanted to get rid of Mr. O'Leary. It would have an even harder time coming up with an explanation for such spending in these difficult economic times.

So for better or worse, they're stuck with each other, like two people in a lousy marriage.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Undergraduate Blues

I’ve gotten some emails from undergraduates who are a tad displeased with their UCF experience. Here are a couple of quotes:

I am fed up. I feel like I am at a fake university.

It's like UCF spent tons of money that they couldn't back up if crap hit the fan and now the students have to pay for it.

SPAM Folder

I try to respond to all reasonable emails, but for some reason a lot of legitimate email goes to my SPAM folder so I may not see it for a while.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

John Hitt Could Learn Something From Jim Drake

Brevard Community College President Jim Drake just got a huge raise. During these difficult economic times, I’m not sure why he would get a 50-plus percent raise. But Drake has decided to turn this ridiculous decision into a positive by donating his raise to help BCC students buy textbooks. Considering that Drake used to be a worthless high level administrator at UCF, this is shocking news.

Here’s a real inside baseball question. Does anyone think Dave Harrison would have been this generous?

Monday, November 10, 2008

Who is Going to Review His Time Sheet?

David Mealor was elected the Mayor of Lake Mary. I wonder if this position will take time away from his UCF job as Associate Vice President of Doing Nothing.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

UCF Loves Money Will Be the Most Read Blog in the Galaxy

WFTV does a fluff piece on UCF’s medical school. Here’s a quote from Dean German:

I really want to build the best medical school in the world, and I realize that that sounds very arrogant. But my view is that if you don’t start off with that as your vision you are going to fall short.

Dr. German, you actually sound more stupid than arrogant. When you set unrealistic goals, you are guaranteed to fall short.

Lake Mary Loves Incompetent Thieves

David Mealor will probably be the next Mayor of Lake Mary.

Monday, September 8, 2008

They Get It

The Central Florida Future, in an essay on UCF’s legacy policy, nicely summarizes one of UCF’s major problems:

At one point, UCF was one of the most accepting schools in Florida, which is how the enrollment numbers jumped so quickly and made the school the sixth largest in the nation. Now, it's coming back to hurt the quality of the school because as the student body increased exponentially, the faculty numbers remained relatively unchanged.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

UCF Hates Critical Thinking

UCF is arguing that they have one of the most selective medical schools in the country. They use an inappropriate statistic to suggest that UCF’s medical school is more selective than Harvard, Yale, or Duke.

As of Aug. 22, UCF will accept one of every 67.5 applicants for the charter class. That’s more selective than Harvard (1 in 40.2), Yale (1 in 50.2) or Duke (1 in 53) were last year, according to data in the 2009-2010 Association of American Medical Colleges Medical School Admission Requirements guide.

UCF’s number appears so impressive because they are accepting an atypically small class (40 students), and UCF has gotten a lot of applications from weak and/or poor students who know better than to waste their time and money on very selective, expensive schools. When comparing GPAs and MCAT scores, does anyone seriously think the UCF inaugural class will be as impressive as those at Harvard, Yale, or Duke?

Comparing UCF to Harvard is typical of the administrative culture at UCF where everyone is expected to engage in hyperbolic bragging that typifies a wrestler in the WWE. If you are a reasonable person associated with UCF, you cringe from embarrassment whenever you read stuff like this.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Email

Loyalty is everything at UCF where it is okay to be incompetent as long as you have proven your allegiance to the higher ups. For example, David Mealor is a useless idiot, but he has shown loyalty to his immediate boss and Hitt and Hickey. If he hadn’t been loyal to them, his thieving would have been dealt with entirely differently.

I get interesting email, and in the future I’d like this blog to rely more on material from the readers. If you send an email, you need to let me know if I can anonymously quote all or part of it. Otherwise, I’ll probably be too concerned for your career to do anything with it.

The email is ucflovesmoney@yahoo.com

Monday, August 25, 2008

Happy First Day of Classes

UCF’s enrollment could have increased to 50,000. Because of budget cuts and bad priorities, this may result in even larger than usual class sizes.

In related news, U.S. News & World Report's college rankings have come out and Rollins gets a lot more love than UCF. I’m not a huge fan of Rollins. It has always struck me as a post secondary playpen for the dumb children of the very rich (Bret Easton Ellis takes a great dig at Rollins in his novel American Psycho). However, to give Rollins credit, they do seem to make the most of their small class sizes. Their students have homework, multiple papers, and lots of interaction with the instructors. In contrast, UCF’s students often have large lecture classes with only a few multiple choice exams. Although it is a question of opinion, it seems almost indisputable that the former is a better method of education than the latter.

The sad thing is that it didn’t have to be this way. If Hitt had not had such a boner for growth at the expense of everything else, he could have been presiding over a still large school where students attend reasonably sized classes at an academically respected university.

Friday, August 1, 2008

FIU Loves Money

FIU hires the outgoing Speaker of the Florida House to teach two courses a year. For this part time job, they are going to pay him 69 grand a year.

Preemptive Strike

As a rule, I don’t print rumors. However, I want to keep this one from happening. People are saying that David Mealor is in line to get an administrative promotion. If this promotion just involves more responsibility, then let him have it because the results will certainly be entertaining. However, this promotion should not include a salary increase. He stole from UCF and is being allowed to pay it back slowly without appropriate interest and penalties. If he is given a raise, it mitigates the already lenient penalty for his crimes against students and taxpayers.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

To Give Credit

Provost Hickey has done quite well for himself considering the vertical oppression that exists in this world.*

* For an empirical analysis of why short people got no reason to live see: Judge and Cable (2004). The effect of physical height on workplace success and income: Preliminary test of a theoretical model, Journal of Applied Psychology, 89, 428-441.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

The Difficulties of Persuasion

This remark from Upton Sinclair seems to fit a lot of high level UCF administrators: "It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it."

The Trouble with the Pegasus Model

Budgets for different units are affected to some extent by how much that unit grows (i.e., enrollment) relative to other units within UCF. So, it’s not enough that the Philosophy Department, for example, grew their enrollment. If they want to see their funding increased, they need to have grown their enrollment at a higher rate than the average department. I’ve heard administrators refer to this “Pegasus Model” budget allocation method as a zero sum game – the budget increases for some units will come at the expense of other units.

The reason this model screws students is it assumes it is always in their best interest for a fast growing unit to be rewarded with more employees and new computers. All the talk about UCF’s budget cuts have been focused on cutting low enrolled programs and limiting freshman and transfer enrollment. There is some merit to examining these possibilities. Limiting access will probably increase the value of the credential for those that earn it, although that cow is already out of the barn; there are some stupid low enrolled programs at UCF that should be eliminated. Still, it will be a great disservice to students for Hickey to not examine the budgets of units that have had success under the Pegasus model (i.e., fast growing) to see if they are using their increased resources efficiently in the service of students.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Layoff List

In these lean budget times, I’ve been thinking about saving UCF money. I was able to take about two minutes and generate a list of 15 completely unnecessary employees whose termination could save UCF around a million dollars a year. Here’s the really neat thing: if these employees were axed, students wouldn’t be impacted. There would be no increase in class size, degree programs eliminated, or student services reduced.

I’ve thought about delving deeper and publishing a larger list of UCF employees that could be safely eliminated with no adverse consequences. However, I’m hesitant to do it for two reasons. First, because UCF is such a gigantic mess, there are whole sections of the University with which I’m unfamiliar. Any list would be biased against those units with which I’ve had contact (I’ve never met a unit that wasn’t completely fucking wasteful). Because I’m not omniscient regarding all things UCF, some units would get a pass. Second, I don’t mind publicly humiliating those whose life choices have put them in the public eye (e.g., Hitt; Hickey; Heston; Jans; Mealor), but I don’t want to disgrace non-public figures who happen to be getting a lot of free money.

Still, it’s unfortunate that no one is discussing the possibility that in these lean budget times, it might just be possible to minimize the impact on students by decreasing the inefficiencies in the system.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Because UCF Loves Money

This is a good editorial in the Central Florida Future. The writer wonders why students have to pay regular tuition to do an unpaid internship that puts very little work on the faculty.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Surreal

It’s an odd feeling to be around this blog’s objects of derision.

Why No UCF Layoffs?

In these lean budget times, other wasteful universities, like the University of Florida, are having to lay off faculty and staff to make ends meet, but UCF hasn’t had to even though they have plenty of disposable employees.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Heavy Traffic

Considering that I’m not posting much over the summer, I’m surprised at the number of visitors that this blog still gets.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

So Dumb It's Entertaining

Because UCF found enough suckers, I mean donors, to cover tuition and partying expenses for the first class of UCF medical students, they threw “a themed party, where all who attended toasted to the achievement with test tubes that served as wine glasses.”

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Depressing

I wish Grant Heston was better at his job so that I don't have to read all these tawdry stories that come out of UCF.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Summer Break

Blogging is going to be much lighter for the next few months.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

What You Can Do To Help – Karen Jans

Dear Karen,

I’d like to start off by saying something in your defense. If I needed to care for my family, I would without hesitation take a sinecure with a rank and salary that exceeded my qualifications. Your mother and UCF are the real villains in this story. Your mom, Senator Evelyn Lynn, was unethically aggressive about getting you hired at UCF, and UCF should be ashamed of their gutless appeasement.

What can you do to help? In terms of appropriate use of resources, your termination could do a lot of good with no negative consequences (except to yourself), but I want to be reasonable. I have an easier suggestion. Stop acting indignant when people correctly conclude that your success is the result of Senator Momma’s intervention. It will make life less irritating for all the people at UCF who do more important work for much less pay.

Sincerely,
Arthur Barnhouse

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Email

Surprisingly, I’ve gotten some very nice email. I’d like to make a few points.

1. Many people who send email are curious as to who I am. Beyond what I say on the blog, I won’t make any personal comments about myself.

2. Let me know if you are willing to let me anonymously quote all or part of your email. If you say something very general, then I’ll go ahead and quote, but sometimes the writer has enough specificity that I’m afraid quoting them might hurt them.

3. If you send me a tip and I don’t use it, it’s because I can’t verify it. I still appreciate it.

Thanks for reading and taking the time to correspond.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

What You Can Do To Help – Terry Hickey

Dear Terry,

When the old man expresses his wishes, you are the one to enforce them. You are Luca Brasi to Hitt’s Don Corleone. Except that Luca Brasi was huge and you are, well, um….

Anyway, I think you should read my letters to John and the administration, and you will have a good idea what to do.

I hope you leave UCF very soon and go ruin another college.

Sincerely,
Arthur Barnhouse

Monday, April 21, 2008

What You Can Do To Help – David Mealor

Dear David,

You negotiated a deal with UCF to be paid 30 percent of your salary while you were doing full time work as a lawmaker. Because of a “bad and embarrassing error,” you were actually paid 100 percent of your UCF salary. This resulted in overpayments to you of about 100K. Currently, you are making monthly repayments until 2013.

There’s a question that you have never had to answer. Did you know that you were being overpaid? Either you were too stupid to notice that you were being paid for two jobs when you were only doing one, or you decided to not notice because you love money. Which is it, David? Are you unethical or stupid? My guess is that you are both unethical and stupid. Because of a lack of ethics you didn’t report the overpayments, but you weren’t smart enough to avoid pissing someone off so bad that you were busted.

Here’s what you can do to help. Repent! You are a very religious person who has encouraged prayer in professional situations where it is not remotely appropriate. I’d like you to admit to your Lord and the community that you knowingly let yourself be overpaid.

I want to end this letter on a positive note, David. I think if you really work at it, you can do an acceptable job in the classroom. Your penance is that you need to quit your do-nothing job as an administrator and go back to teaching.

Sincerely,
Arthur Barnhouse

Sunday, April 20, 2008

What You Can Do To Help – John Hitt

Dear John,

You’ve made so many mistakes that it’s impossible for you to right all the wrongs. Still, in your remaining years with UCF, you could do two small things to make life better.

First, don’t make loyalty to you the primary condition for continued employment. Most of the UCF community kisses your ass and tells you what you want to hear. They do this because you don’t cotton to dissent. A lot has gone wrong for UCF lately. Perhaps, it’s because you surround yourself with lackeys who are too cowed to disagree with you.

Second, you have built your giant empire. Now, you should focus on running it. When something goes wrong, you are quick to blame your underlings (e.g., you blamed the overpayment of Mealor on UCF personnel; You put the budget deficits of the College of Arts and Sciences on Kathy Seidel), but the truth is that you are accountable for any mistakes at UCF – that’s why you are the president. Man up and take some responsibility.

Of course, the best thing you could for UCF would be to retire.

Sincerely,
Arthur Barnhouse

Thursday, April 17, 2008

He Makes a Lot More Money Now

I was doing research when I ran across this article about the budget cut protests of 2003:

Chris Stark, an 18-year-old freshman, read the e-mail that reached him last Sunday night and decided to attend the rally. He said he couldn't believe it when he read that Hitt had received a $93,000 raise this past year.

Rostock agreed. "[Hitt's raise] is hard to justify considering he also gets a free house and car," he said. "We pay for his insurance and give him a travel allowance for him and his wife. The university even pays for his country club membership, meaning we pay for his golf. Basically, all he has to buy is food, and $295,000 is a lot of money to buy food."

Yet, according to one social sciences teacher, students shouldn't be surprised. The teacher, who refused to give his name because he feared he'd lose his job, said that everyone is paying the price for Hitt's arrogance and attitude. "Hitt isn't a leader," he continued. "He's a bully. Hitt and the administration are padding their pockets with raises when real leaders would suffer along with everyone else.

"The captain is filling his lifeboat with caviar and champagne while the rest of the ship sinks," he explained.

Hitt is an arrogant bully. If YouTube existed during Hitt’s younger and fatter days, I bet we could find a video of him slapping around some untenured faculty member or student who made the mistake of disagreeing with him.

What You Can Do To Help – The Students

Dear Students,

You and the administration have become involved in a shortsighted, tacit agreement. As students, many of you want your credentials with as little effort as possible, and the administration is happy to comply because they want as many graduates as possible. The result is that UCF produces a lot of graduates with degrees of little value.

You can help break this cycle by trying harder in your classes. If more students do excellent work, this encourages instructors to adopt higher standards and grade weaker students more harshly.

Best Wishes,
Arthur Barnhouse

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Celebrating 100 Posts

This is my 100th Post at UCF Loves Money. If you would like to donate to the UCF Loves Money Foundation, send an email to ucflovesmoney@yahoo.com*. Your gift can go to a scholarship fund to teach the next generation of leaders how to spot waste, sleaze, and poor critical thinking skills. With your very generous donation, you can have a section of this blog named after you.

*Email is always welcome, but I’m joking when I ask for money. This blog will never accept donations or advertising.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

What You Can Do To Help – The Administration

Dear Administration,

I look at most of you and I see nothing worth liking. You are quick to take credit for the work of others and even quicker to assign blame to others for your own failings. You probably sucked at teaching and research, and you wanted a big paycheck and a bit of power so you decided to become an administrator. You spend your days trying to figure out how to get a bigger budget and more employees even though there is no rational justification for either. You have put your personal ambition ahead of the needs of UCF and the community.

I don’t think you can change. For you, selfishness, waste, and corruption are autonomic nervous functions. If you want to help make UCF better, then you should quit. Quit and go back to teaching and research. If that’s not an option, quit and go out into the free market and be entrepreneurial.

Truly,
Arthur Barnhouse

Saturday, April 12, 2008

What You Can Do To Help – The Faculty

Dear Faculty,

Because you are the most important part of UCF, I am glad you have decided to help. I’d like you to do three things:

(1) Start to hold students to higher standards. Simply put, degree completion at UCF has become so easy that the school is starting to lose legitimacy. By developing higher standards in the classroom, graduates will be better prepared for their future, and the value of a UCF degree will increase.

(2) Hold yourself to higher standards and work harder to teach more effectively. There are some really good teachers at UCF, but there are also too many courses that are a complete waste of time and money. It is unfair to students to hold them to a high standard, if you do not also hold yourself to that standard.

(3) Stand up for what is right. As I said to the community, the administrators at UCF are weak and will back down in the face of concerted opposition. If you have not already, consider joining the union. This will make all of you stronger.

The UCF administration sucks. Take comfort in knowing that together you can break them anytime you want.

Sincerely,
Arthur Barnhouse

Thursday, April 10, 2008

An Oldie but a Goodie

I was researching something when I ran across this letter from Jim Gilkeson to John Hitt. Go read the whole thing. Gilkeson does a nice job demonstrating that Hitt doesn’t focus on the important issues facing UCF. He also shows that Hitt hates dissent and is a bit of a bully.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

What You Can Do To Help – The Community

Dear Community,

Thanks for deciding that you have had enough of UCF’s waste and corruption. I would encourage you to do the following two things:

First, refuse to donate to the UCF Foundation. If you are an alumni, you will inevitably receive letters and phone calls requesting a substantial donation. Ignore the letters and when the phone calls come, politely inform the telemarketer that you can’t donate to an organization that does the following things:

(1) Bribes legislators
(2) Pays, with donated money, the President an obscene salary
(3) Hires a football coach who has lied about having an advanced degree
(4) Values increasing enrollment over academic rigor
(5) Wastes money on dumb shit
(6) Hires unnecessary administrative employees even though it has one of the highest faculty to student ratios in the country

If just a few people express these opinions to the foundation, then UCF will make some changes. Remember, UCF loves money so they will do what they must to get it; they might as well do the right thing.

Second, continue to hold the politicians accountable. The Orlando Sentinel believes that John Hitt is the second most powerful person in the area, but in the face of community outrage, he folded like a little bitch and agreed to retro-fit that cheap-ass stadium with water fountains even though he really just wanted to sell lots of water (After all, he is so entrepreneurial). These people are weak, and in the face public scrutiny and outrage, they will acquiesce to the conscience of the community.

Good luck, community.

Sincerely,
Arthur Barnhouse

Wanker of the Day

It’s Grant Heston. In an essay where he defends the results of the university audit, he argues the audit shows “the vast majority of UCF's operational policies and procedures to be sound.” Such a dumb statement. Even the most degenerate criminals spend the majority of their time engaged in law abiding behavior.

Heston also brushes aside the whole Mealor debacle as “an error in one employee’s salary payments.” I have to give Hitt credit here because at least he had the guts to admit it was a bad and embarrassing error.

Grant, if I ever run out of ipecac, I’ll just look up your salary.

Monday, April 7, 2008

I’ve Got Some Bad News…

If this turns out to be true, Dr. German better start prescribing anti-depressants:

New degree programs also likely will be delayed. The University of Central Florida's new medical school -- as well as one planned at Florida International University -- could see their planned 2009 openings postponed at least a year.

Brevard Community College Loves Money

They paid Mike Haridopolos, a state legislator, over a 150K in public money to write a 175 page book that sounds like it is too terrible to be published.

What You Can Do To Help – A New Series

Over the last 91 posts, I’ve made the case that UCF is a venal, wasteful institution that lacks academic rigor especially at the graduate level. Along the way, I’ve also tried to have some fun.

Over the next couple of weeks, I’m going to be writing open letters to different stakeholders – students, faculty, administrators, and the community – to encourage them to take specific steps to make UCF better.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

This Blog Needs a New Building

A key performance indicator for this blog is the number of unique visitors. February was the first month where there were a sizable number of unique visitors. In March, the number of uniques jumped 187 percent, and April is looking even better. Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read UCF Loves Money.

Friday, April 4, 2008

An Asshole Gets to Keep His Job

Ken Adams will return in the summer.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

No Heroes in This Story

In all the jocularity of April Fools, there was a true statement. William Wetherell, brother of FSU President T.K. Wetherell, was fired by UCF. It’s a story that says a lot about the character of John Hitt.

Listen: It had been discovered that William was actively working to undermine his immediate boss and the interests of UCF. When William’s boss requested of Hitt that he be allowed to fire William, Hitt said no because he didn’t want to deal with the fallout that could come from firing the brother of the politically connected President of FSU.

So, in the insane world that is UCF, William got to keep his salary, but because he couldn’t be trusted, most of his responsibilities and all of his direct reports were taken away from him.

Then, Hitt found out that William was encouraging T.K. to be publicly critical of the UCF President. Finally, William had committed a terminable offense, disloyalty to John Hitt, and William was fired. John Hitt’s life philosophy: You can mess with my family, but don’t mess with me.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Breaking – Possible Replacement for John Hitt

According to a source at the Board of Trustees, William “Bill” Wetherell who was fired, with a police officer nearby, by UCF Regional Campuses is the leading candidate to replace John Hitt. Of course, Wetherell is politically connected. His brother is T.K. Wetherell – former Speaker of the Florida House and Current President of FSU. Currently, William Wetherell works at Daytona Beach Community College.

Update – Happy April Fools!

Breaking – O’Leary Leaving for the NFL

UCF football coach George O’Leary is leaving to coach the Houston Texans. The Texans were impressed with O’Leary’s coaching resume which states that O’Leary has taken UCF to two bowl victories.

Update – Happy April Fools!

Breaking – John Hitt Resigning

Two sources have told me that John Hitt plans to resign later this month (Don’t try to guess the identity of my sources. Hitt’s personal staff is so large that it would be like trying to pick the winning lottery numbers). Hitt has told staffers that he has more than enough money for the rest of his life. He also wants to go out while he’s on top, and he has some grave concerns about the future of UCF. One of my sources emailed me the following:

Remember when Hitt led the failed effort to make it harder to sue doctors? He was trying to help out future graduates of UCF’s medical school because he knew they would be killing a lot of patients. Hitt wants to go out in glory before UCF’s medical grads start failing their boards and committing gross malpractice.

Update – Happy April Fools!

Monday, March 31, 2008

Big Stories Developing

Stay tuned….

Friday, March 28, 2008

One Can Always Dream

From the Orlando Sentinel opinion page:

We understand the desperation of agencies scouring for money this year. We know how the political game is played in Tallahassee, but the universities shaping the next generation of leaders should be above that.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Conference Paper

I’m sorry that blogging has been light. I’m working on a conference paper: Biting the hand that feeds you: A narrative account of the critical blogging of an academic administration.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Follow Up: It Ain’t Watergate

In this earlier post, I suggested John Hitt might have something to hide because he seemed to be protesting too loudly that UCF’s illegal loans to UCF athletics were not like Watergate. To save the reader from reading the full report, I’ve encapsulated the legal issue surrounding these 7.4 million dollar loans into a dramatic conversation between John Hitt (JH) and Ted Sauerbeck (TS).

TS: You have no statutory authority to loan this money to UCF Athletics.
JH: My authority can be implied from the statute, bitch.
TS: No, bitch – you can only make loans for which you have specified authority.
JH: You are wrong, but I’ll stop.

When he suggested the issue wasn’t like Watergate, I think John was using a straw man technique. Rather than just admit he fucked up, he made up a non-existent oppositional argument – that these illegal loans were akin to the Watergate break in – with which it is possible to reasonably disagree.

Laughable Quote of the Day

From the Central Florida Future’s article on project bid rules:

"We will certainly follow this limit if it is placed on us," Chopra said. "If we [violated] that in the past, it was an oversight. … Our board does not want or have the authority to go against the Board of Governors."

Chopra and Merck said UCF will do its best to enforce the threshold set by the board.

"We do not want any university to violate a business practice," Chopra said. "Good, sound management is what we are going for. We cannot afford to waste money."

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

It’s Expensive to Pretend You’re Important

UCF has 830 employees who are given cell phones. This costs the university $460,000 a year (source: Sauerbeck report). Here’s my bold, entrepreneurial initiative: Reduce cell phone costs by 10 percent and UCF can afford to hire a new instructor.

Monday, March 24, 2008

She Does Have Some Shame

Senator Lynn does the right thing and agrees to continue her FSU job without pay.

More Graft

From the Sauerbeck report (for the pdf, click here), I learned an interesting thing about David Mealor’s compensation agreement (for background on Mealor, see this post). UCF agreed to pay him 30 percent of his salary while he was serving full-time in the legislature. What the fuck? Mealor doesn’t do anything when he’s “working” for UCF, and UCF agreed to pay him thirty percent even when he’s not. They should just pay this guy in a brown envelope and remind him to give Tony Soprano his taste.

It Ain’t Watergate???

Regarding the university illegally loaning UCF Athletics 7.6 million dollars, Hitt said, “I really think there's a group of folks who are trying to see this as the next Watergate, and it ain't.”

It’s an odd comment, isn’t it? Watergate involved breaking and entering which is punishable by a prison sentence. The loan to UCF Athletics is illegal, but there is no penalty for the violation which is why UCF did it. I haven’t heard of anyone, other than Hitt, comparing this loan to Watergate. Hitt’s comment makes me think there is more to the story.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Highlights From the Open Forum, Part II

From the reporting of the Central Florida Future:

Broadcast journalism major Jen Whalen was filming the forum for UCF Knightly News. She stepped out from behind her camera to challenge the president to defend UCF's 2007 audit, specifically the findings that UCF overpaid one professor by $100,000, charged international students a $50 fee and loaned money to the Athletics Association without proper approval or a plan for repayment.

Hitt acknowledged overpaying the professor, calling it a bad and embarrassing error made by personnel within the university. As soon as it was detected, he said, the university created a plan for repayment, which is already in progress.

For background on this story, see this post.

Highlights From the Open Forum, Part I

From the reporting of the Central Florida Future:

Mark Ritner, an environmental engineering major, was also unmoved by the president's response to his concerns about academic dishonesty at UCF.

"It is a serious problem across the country, and we have been proactive here at UCF over the last eight or 10 years in trying to address it," Hitt said. "Are we where we'd like to be? I don't think any university in the country is."

Ritner called the president's answer a polished political response.

"It appears that undergraduate academic standards of integrity and competency are probably the fifth or sixth item down President Hitt's priority list," Ritner said.

It Really is the Whole Family Sucking at the Public Tit

After I published this post, someone reminded me that Evelyn Lynn’s son works for Daytona Beach Community College. To be fair, I don’t know the circumstances surrounding his hire at DBCC. Unlike his sister, he may have come across the job ethically (i.e., he was the most qualified as opposed to the most politically connected).

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Kudos to the Central Florida Future

They are doing excellent work exposing how UCF loves money more than following the law:

UCF loans an unaccounted for $7.4 million to Athletics without a repayment schedule

Audit questions fees that raised $185,250

A Whole Family Sucking at the Public Tit

From the Orlando Sentinel School Zone blog:

State Sen. Evelyn Lynn helped secure $1 million in state funding to establish a Florida State University-sponsored reading research center in Daytona Beach that later hired her to run the place.

Lynn's hiring is raising eyebrows because Lynn, R-Daytona Beach, was offered the temporary post paying $2,300 a week -- which would work out to more than $100,000 a year -- after she pushed to fund the center as chairwoman of the Senate Higher Education Appropriations Committee in 2007.

FSU Provost Lawrence Abele said Thursday that he hired Lynn because of her longtime experience as a teacher and school district administrator in Volusia County, not because she got the center funded. The hiring does not violate any law, and Lynn consulted the state Senate's lawyer before accepting the job to ensure there would be no conflict of interest.

Lynn could not be reached for comment.

Reports of Lynn's hiring in September come after public outcry over the hiring of another state legislator at the University of Florida amid a budget crisis that is forcing the state's public universities to make millions in spending cuts.

Here’s what I wrote in the comments:

Luis,

Lynn also got her daughter a do-nothing job at UCF. Until UCF hired her daughter, Lynn was absolutely torturing UCF with inane information requests and suggestions that she might pull funding from UCF at Daytona.

Check out: http://ucflovesmoney.blogspot.com/2007/06/bribe.html

Where is Stuttering John When You Need Him?

On March 20th, John Hitt will have an open forum for students. I have some suggested questions:

Because of budget cuts, would you be willing to take a 12 percent pay cut – this would cover the cost of a new faculty hire in most disciplines – or would it be too hard to live paycheck to paycheck on 400K a year?

Would you consider laying off one of your ten staff members to save a professor from being laid off?

If I get elected to the state legislature, will you give my unemployable children cushy, do-nothing jobs?

How much would a politically connected employee have to steal before you fired them?

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The Follies of Graduate Studies Reminded Me of This Story…

A few years ago, a UCF professor taught a graduate level class in social science statistics. As an instructor, he wasn’t without flaws, but among UCF teachers, he was above average. A whole bunch of students failed his midterm. They banded together and started complaining to the department chair.

Because the department chair was siding with the students, the professor got the analytical GRE scores of the passing and failing students. The scores ranged from below average to moderately above average. There was a positive correlation between the student’s midterm score and their analytical GRE score. Essentially, the professor argued that the students who failed the midterm were too stupid to be taught statistics.

In the end, there was no formal intervention by the department chair, but the professor got the message that he needed to lighten up. After the term ended, the professor was never assigned to teach statistics again. This story epitomizes a dangerous mentality at UCF – that the student is always right.

Monday, March 17, 2008

UCF Graduate Studies Must be a 15 Year Old Girl

Because they have a fucking MySpace page. Here’s the thing: money that could be used to hire an instructor is being used to pay somebody to come up with these embarrassing recruitment strategies.

Thanks to a reader for sending me the link.

An Unrealistic Proposal

UCF’s graduate enrollment, as measured by the only thing that matters – student credit hours, continues to decline at UCF. Right now, there are a few academic entrepreneurs who are sitting in their comfortable offices with their solitaire-playing secretaries nearby wondering how it all went wrong. By applying the corporate model, these strategic thinkers implemented strategies such as eliminating a thesis requirement and lowering graduate admission standards that should have increased demand for a UCF graduate education. It didn’t work.

What is the next move? Create more online only graduate degrees? Make the GRE optional? Make the doctoral dissertation optional?

Or…just throwing this out there. How about a paradigm shift where UCF goes back to rigorous academics at the graduate level? Classes will be tough and not everyone will make it through (for evidence of graduate grade inflation, see this post). All graduates will have to make an original contribution (e.g., a thesis) to the field.

Who knows? Maybe implementing challenging graduate programs will attract more students. Throwing away academic integrity doesn’t seem to be working.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

UCF Loves To Illegally Spend Money

From the Central Florida Future:

UCF mishandled several million dollars in funds and is spending more money than it should, according to a recent state audit.

At a time when state budget cuts to education have caused reductions in classes, caps on enrollment and stalls on faculty raises, the findings for the fiscal year ending June 30, revealed 13 instances of university funds being used improperly.

Several findings involved the university assessing fees and transferring funds without having legal authority for its actions. According to the audit, the university loaned $7.4 million to the UCF Athletics Association Inc. in violation of Florida statutes. There is not yet a plan as to how that money will be paid back.

Read the entire article here.

Come On, Everybody is Doing It

A common rejoinder to UCF Loves Money is that UCF is just doing what any other comparable institution would do. I agree that other schools are pulling a lot of the same bullshit that UCF does. In all cases it is wrong and should stop. Because I have a lot of affinity for UCF, I focus on it. I don’t want to see UCF become that “giant community college” that so many already believe it to be.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

A Forecast

For the Fall 2009 medical class, let’s assume that bribing quality students with free tuition and housing pulls them away from more established medical schools. What will the new students in the Fall 2010 class look like? They aren’t going to be getting a free ride, and at the time of their matriculation, UCF will still be a provisionally accredited medical school. My guess is that this second group will have much lower GPAs and MCAT scores than the inaugural class. Factor in UCF’s obsession with retaining every last student, even those who have shown themselves to be academically unqualified, and this will probably be a class of very dangerous doctors.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Lemons

The fan that created the logo also had this to say:

I've been enjoying the blog since a professor turned me on to it. I'm a graduate of UCF and a current staff member that is well aware of much of the stupidity and wastefulness that occurs around this place. You pretty much hit the nail on the head, so this is all I had to contribute. I suppose the slot machine could have come up lemons, and it would have been equally appropriate.

New Logo


A fan of the site sent in a great logo for UCF Loves Money.


More Chutzpah

Scott Maxwell on Mike Haridopolos:

Galling: That'd be state Sen. Mike Haridopolos, who snagged a $75,000-a-year lecturing gig at the University of Florida, even though his predecessor in the post was more qualified and many lecturers make much less money. In his own defense, the Brevard County Republican told the Gainesville Sun that, if he were truly interested in money, he would've run for Congress. "The odds of me becoming a congressman were pretty darn high," he said of the seat that state Sen. Bill Posey wants. "And I think as you know a congressman makes $170,000 a year."

Layoff Heston; Promote Binette

While reading this story about how UCF has hired an engineering firm to study the structural integrity of their brand new stadium, I was struck by how bad Heston’s quotes are (for example, see this post). Heston is too definitive when he says it is a maintenance issue and not a safety issue. Heston is not an engineer, and he doesn’t know what the study will find. I agree there is probably not an immediate safety threat, but for some reason Heston’s sureness is off-putting.

On the other hand, I’ve noticed that Binette actually does a good job of making a convincing argument even though I may disagree with his position (for example, see this post). Because getting rid of the entire News and Information Staff isn’t going to happen, I suggest laying off Heston, promoting Binette, and not hiring a replacement for Binette. This would save enough dough to hire one instructor.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Reading List

Today is very quiet. Here’s some reading material if you are bored:

The BOG may get to keep their limited power.

UCF group wants students to be able to carry guns.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

An Offer*

My dog has been having a hard time finding a job. If UCF gives him a job, then I’ll tone the blog down (e.g., I’ll change the name to UCF Likes Money). I’d expect him to be made an Assistant Vice President. He’s quite qualified. He can shake hands and rarely has accidents. Because UCF has made this kind of deal in the past, I eagerly await a response.

*This is a joke. Not an actual offer. Extortion is illegal unless you are Senator Evelyn Lynn.

Strategic Planning – So Boring

All we do is talk and talk, and we accomplish nothing.

However, we did some good brainstorming on jokes about tiny Terry Hickey. We imagined Hickey partying at Spring Break. Little Terry has to do Jello shots off girls’ stomachs because he is too short to reach their chests. Hickey hits on the women by saying “I may be short, but I’m Provost AND Executive Vice President.” The discussion was a nice break from the tedium.

Okay, I’ve got to get back to my breakout session.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

All Those Who Gain Power are Afraid to Lose It

Carolyn Roberts, chair of the SUS Board of Governors, is mad that the legislature wants to “gut the authority” of the BOG.

Strategic Planning – Focus on Growth

Within the last couple of months, the readership of this blog has experienced tremendous growth. During today’s strategic planning meeting, the consultant asked us how big we want to be. We all agreed that we want to be really big. So, we brainstormed growth ideas. After four hours of talking, we came up with three things:

First, the blog should use easier words. For example, in this post I called Ken Adams “odious.” This is a tough word for some. In the future, I’ll use the word “asshole.”

Second, we should increase visibility through the use of billboards. Until now, UCF Loves Money hasn’t done much with marketing. If we invest in billboards, we will really increase our readership. We are going to hire a consultant to find us good spots for our billboards.

Third, we should make more jokes about the Provost’s height. For some inexplicable reason, these posts are money in the bank. We are going to hire a consultant to write some good jokes about little Terry Hickey.

The consultant will be back tomorrow. Hopefully, it will be as productive as today.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Time to Write a New Mission Statement

UCF Loves Money has brought in an outside consultant to develop a strategic plan for the next ten years. This is important work so expect blogging to be a little light for the next few days.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

It’s Quantity, Baby

I missed this Sentinel article about UCF when it was published in early February. Here’s my favorite part:

UCF finance professor Stan Smith agreed that the quality of students coming to the university has improved. But he is not sure students are getting as good an education as they once did."What you're seeing here is . . . the trade-off between quantity and quality," Smith said. "And the emphasis of the university has been on quantity."

Friday, February 29, 2008

Union Busting Time?

Terry Hickey would like to break the faculty union at UCF, and he might have an opportunity to do it with his disciplinary decision towards the odious Ken Adams. A university panel has recommended that Adams be disciplined, but not fired, for keeping sexually explicit pictures on his computer, creating a hostile work environment (i.e., other UCF employees were able to see the pictures), and yelling at UCF employees in a demeaning and physically threatening manner.

Recently, disciplinary action has been a point of contention between the faculty union and the administration. Hickey could decide to fire Adams even though Adams is a tenured professor. Tenure is critical for academic freedom from the administration (especially this UCF administration), but to have to defend the principle in the case of Ken Adams is not going to be an easy road. Whatever happens, I hope Hickey ensures that the victims in this case never have to work with Adams again.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Bright Futures is Safe

The BOG backed down from their proposed plan to allow the State Universities to raise tuition and pass the costs to Bright Futures recipients (and everybody else). The cabal that runs UCF won’t admit this publicly, but this news makes them very sad.

Are Hitt and Hickey Readers?

Another reader wants to know if Hitt and Hickey read this blog. I don’t know, but one of the most popular entries for this site is this one where I say that Hickey has short-man complex. I was surprised that this throw-away, iconoclastic comment was more popular than the corruption posts (see here and here).

As an aside, it’s not a good thing to be a short male with power at UCF. Behind your back, people love to laugh at you. With the Hickey comment, I was merely repeating what I’ve heard.

Chutzpah

Mike Haridopolos thinks that he can transfer his doctoral coursework from the University of Arkansas to Florida State and finish his Ph.D. within a year. He’s completely clueless. Even a diploma mill like UCF wouldn’t allow him to do this. Um, well, I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t.

“Brutal”

That’s how one reader described this blog. I suppose that it is, but the brutality is deserved.

This is a good time to explain the Brutality Policy at UCF Loves Money. If you are a high level employee (Assistant Vice President and above or Assistant Dean and above), and you do something particularly stupid, corrupt, or wasteful then you can expect some tough comments.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Welcome Dean Frumkin

UCF has hired a new Dean for the College of Health and Public Affairs, and it looks like he is going to be a good earner:

At Eastern Washington University, he was instrumental in expanding the social work program. Under his leadership, the number of faculty positions nearly tripled, the budget grew by more than 500 percent and the program became a stand-alone school with a stature comparable to a college at UCF…He has also generated more than $25 million in external grants and contracts primarily to support social work education.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Light Blogging This Week

I’m grading midterms so unless Hitt and Hickey hold a press conference to admit that UCF loves money more than a solid education, there won’t be a lot of posts over the next couple of days.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Is the Orlando Sentinel Headline Writer Drunk?

Here’s the headline for their story about proposed legislation that would allow UCF to charge up to a 30 percent tuition premium: New law would let UCF shine with tuition premiums.

Is Lee Constantine Drunk?*

He has introduced a law that would allow UCF to charge up to a 30 percent tuition premium. This wouldn’t be covered by Bright Futures.

*This is funny cause he’s been arrested a couple of times for drinking and driving.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

UF Loves Money

The biggest reason I started this blog was because UCF hired Senator Lynn’s dim daughter (Karen Jans) for 80K a year. UCF did this to secure more funding from the state. I had always hoped that UCF’s crookedness was unique, but this article suggests that UF is also corrupt.

State Senator Mike Haridopolos got hired by UF to teach government classes. They are paying him 75K a year as a lecturer. The average salary for lecturers in the political science department is 40K. Haridopolos doesn’t have a Ph.D. The highest paid lecturer without a Ph.D. in the department earns 27K, but then I’m guessing that person isn’t a state senator. Oh yeah, the faculty, who are normally consulted on new hires, were not consulted on this one. The evidence is clear: UF is bribing Mike Haridopolos.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

John, Go Cut Me a Switch

Dear Governor Crist,

Regarding tuition hikes, you had this to say, “I would rather they didn't do it. I think especially in the economy as it is right now, I don't think families need to be burdened additionally with tuition increases. So I would hope that they would not do so and be more disciplined.”

Governor, UCF has no discipline. They spend like drunken sailors. You have to discipline them. John Hitt needs a daddy. Next time Hitt shows up at your office to kiss your ass and ask you for more, tell him that he may not like the budget cuts, but in time he will see that they are for his own good.

Your Friend,
Arthur Barnhouse

Thursday, February 14, 2008

The Game

Do you wonder why UCF and the other state universities do not discuss the possibility of administrative layoffs? There are two reasons. First, administrators protect their own. Second, administrative layoffs wouldn’t negatively impact the student experience. They would just save students and taxpayers money.

Why would UCF want to hurt students? One high level administrator explained to me that because of these budget cuts “UCF wants to leave as many bodies in the street as they can.” If UCF freezes enrollment and lays-off faculty members, this will have a negative impact on students and their parents. This constituent group will then cry to the legislature who will give UCF more money. UCF is run by a bunch of rotten fuckers.

I would be much more amenable to tuition hikes or additional state funding if UCF would make a good faith effort to reduce unnecessary costs. This would involve layoffs of employees that don’t impact the student experience. Let’s leave the bodies of these administrators in the street. Unfortunately, these high level administrators have assistants who, because their bosses have so little work to do, are paid to surf the internet and watch movies. As a practical matter, many of these assistants also need to be let go.

They Always Want More

Take a look at this Orlando Sentinel blogpost. Here's the point I made in the comments:

Notice they said “faculty layoffs”. They should look at administrative layoffs first. At UCF, there are a lot of unnecessary administrators who also have unnecessary assistants.

Happy Valentines Day

I wonder what John Hitt got his money for Valentines Day.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Sick Leave

Blogging has been light because I’m on sick leave.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Layoff Grant Heston

Check out this article on UCF negotiations with the faculty union. Here’s the short version: the faculty want more money, and UCF won’t give it to them. I’ve got three observations:

First, the faculty pointed out that Hitt gets giant raises. And yes, as UCF likes to incessantly observe, we all know that a big chunk of his salary comes from the UCF Foundation. However, when I get hit up for money from the Foundation they never tell me that my donation will help make Hitt even wealthier. And every time the Foundation channels money into Hitt’s bank account, those are dollars that can’t go towards important things like scholarships. The faculty union should also point out that high level administrators (who are often faculty members) receive much higher raises than regular faculty.

Second, is Grant Heston losing brain cells along with his hairline? He argues that the high student to faculty ratio at UCF (28.8 to 1) isn’t hurting education quality because UCF is getting a record number of applications. Heston argues that if a lot of people (in this case, teenagers) decide to do something then it must be a sound decision. What about all the people who bought Enron stock or, more recently, people who bought houses right before the housing market collapsed? There were a lot of them so they must have made the correct decision. Grant Heston, like so many other administrators, needs to audit a critical thinking class.

Third, if Grant Heston’s job were eliminated, could the University survive? There would be a little less bullshit in world, but the university would run fine without him. With the money that was saved on his salary, UCF could hire one professor or two instructors.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Annual Leave

I’m on Annual Leave today so don’t expect any witty posts trashing the royalty that is the UCF administration.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

BOG Lawsuit is Revived

The BOG is asking the courts to give them the authority to raise tuition. Currently, this authority resides with the state legislature. To increase their funding, UCF bribes legislators. Senator Evelyn Lynn was absolutely torturing UCF with her requests until UCF took Lynn’s daughter off the unemployment line. Obviously, this is a fucked up system.

However, because legislators are somewhat accountable to the public, they won’t go crazy raising tuition. The governor-appointed BOG would be able to more easily raise tuition. That is a frightening prospect because UCF’s great talent is making people believe that they need more funding. And I’m sure that members of the BOG have unemployed children too.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

10 Bucks for a Lousy Fucking Transcript????

Anybody got the skinny on who decided that UCF should double the price it charges students for an official transcript. I’m hoping that someone is willing to come forward with the details (memos and emails are especially helpful) surrounding this decision. Email ucflovesmoney@yahoo.com.
Upon request, confidentiality is guaranteed.

Monday, February 4, 2008

This Would Be Funny if I wasn’t a UCF Graduate

When I was writing about UCF’s obsession to give everyone with tuition money a degree, I remembered something that occurred some years ago when UCF was getting ready to award their 100,000th degree. This was an event that was going to get a decent amount of local media coverage. Because a lot of dumbasses graduate from UCF, high level administrators were concerned that the recipient of the 100,000th degree would perform poorly when he/she was interviewed by the media. What was the solution? UCF manipulated who was actually awarded the 100,000th degree and made sure it was someone respectable.

Two Things that Should Happen at UCF When Hitt and Hickey Leave

Emperor Hitt will retire from UCF in a few years. When Hitt leaves, Hickey will probably find other employment. In the unlikely event that the next UCF president isn’t some political hack (e.g., Frank Brogan; Betty Castor; T.K. Wetherell) then I have two recommendations for the new President.

1. Layoff unnecessary high level administrators. Excluding faculty, there are two types of employees at UCF: those who actually perform the day-to-day operations of the university (e.g., physical plant employees; financial aid processors) and “big thinker” employees (e.g., people with offices in Millican Hall). These “big thinker” employees are supposed to schmooze with politicians and the community and come up with ideas that will help UCF grow even larger. These are the employees that should be laid off. They are expensive and often their big ideas just end up being money pits for students, donors, and taxpayers. I could easily develop a list of about twenty employees that could disappear tomorrow, never be replaced, and UCF wouldn’t miss a beat. This could save UCF millions of dollars a year.

2. Reduce current growth by adopting rigorous academic standards. UCF likes to brag about how many degrees they have granted, but the more common a degree then the less valuable it is to the folks who’ve earned it. I saved an old UCF Report where UCF bragged about awarding their 100,000th degree much faster than Clemson did. It didn’t seem to occur to UCF administrators that UCF awarded degrees faster because UCF was an easier school.

I’m not hopeful that the above will ever happen. Still, it is important to articulate what an improvement would be even if an improvement is unrealistic.

Friday, February 1, 2008

All You Need to Know About Provost Hickey

He’s got a short-man complex.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Wanna Fight?

A source of mine has reminded me of this story about John Hitt: Well over a decade ago, he was in a UCF meeting with someone who disagreed with him. Hitt challenged him to a fight.

I doubt Hitt is challenging many people to fights now. He’s so hunched over that he looks like the letter “C.”

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

UCF will Nickel and Dime Students until they have an Empire (or Enron)

A three percent increase in housing fees is probably a reasonable response to inflation. Notice how the housing department was willing to explain why they were increasing costs. A five percent increase in parking fees is out of the ordinary. Notice how the parking department was unavailable for comment. They are increasing the fee simply because they want more.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

And There is a Recession Coming

Take a look at this Sentinel article about the economic difficulties of the UCF Golden Knights Plaza and you’ll see a metaphor for all UCF administrators. Although Chad Binette does an admirable job of arguing that things are not so bad, the critical piece of evidence is that UCF waived rent for a month and deferred it for another month. Because UCF loves money, things must have been quite dire for the administration to come to this decision.

This story is just another example of the inability of UCF administrators to make sound decisions. If it were not for the existence of taxpayer-subsidized education, most of these fools would be starving to death. I don’t mind that the less fortunate are propped up (although we don’t need to be doing it at salaries over six figures a year), but I do mind that these cognitively challenged individuals are determined to keep spending more and more money on foolish endeavors.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Wasted Donations

UCF claims they are halfway to raising the 6.4 million necessary to give their entire medical school inaugural class full scholarships. If UCF had not gone the scholarship route then their first year class would have consisted of students who otherwise would have gone to the Caribbean for med school. I wonder if all this scholarship money will be enough to dissuade talented students from attending an established medical school.

Frankly, with all the better charities out there (e.g., cancer research; hunger reduction programs), I’m surprised that people have spent this much money to educate a class of what will inevitably be mediocre doctors.

Welcome

I decided to see if spamming the comments section of this story at the Orlando Sentinel would result in this site getting more hits. Today has been a busy day at the blog – you could say that we are seeing positive growth and therefore the state should give us more money, and we should be able to raise tuition.

For new readers, I’d like to take a moment to explain that the purpose of this blog is to offer the following conclusions: UCF doesn’t care about offering a quality education. UCF doesn’t care about using finite resources carefully to meet the needs of the community. Top UCF administrators care about the survival and growth of the organization. In other words, UCF Loves Money.

If UCF’s love of money resulted in a quality education then it would be okay, but UCF offers degrees that lack academic rigorousness.

The teaching quality at UCF is hit or miss, mostly miss.

Top UCF administrators are corrupt. They hire non-essential employees to curry favor with the Florida Legislature.

Steps need to be taken at UCF to improve the quality of the degree and end the waste and corruption. Take a look around the blog and let me know what you think by emailing ucflovesmoney@yahoo.com. Also, if you have a good story to report (I protect my sources) send along an email and we can chat about that.