Dumbest and Most Esoteric Post Ever

The “Jabba the Hitt” cartoon got me thinking what if Hitt and Hickey ran the Republic in Star Wars.

1. Hitt would be Emperor Palpatine and Hickey would be Darth Vader, although this doesn’t fit because Vader is tall.

2. Yoda would be reduced to saying things like “Increase Jedi Credit Hours we must. Promoted to Associate Vice President I will be.”

3. Instead of having only one Padawan (i.e., student), each Jedi Master would have a hundred. This would increase JCH.

4. Because each Jedi Master would have so many Padawans, the Jedi Trials would become multiple-choice and true/false.

5. Many of these mass produced Jedi wouldn’t be able to use the Force to move even a pencil. They would end up working at Dex’s Diner while trying to use the Jedi mind trick on themselves – pathetically waving their hand at their own face and telling themselves that their Jedi-degree wasn’t utterly worthless.

A good friend helped me with these.