Just When I Thought I Was Out…

I’ve been getting emails asking me to take a few final shots at the departing Provost Hickey. I decided to take a pass because what is the point of kicking someone when they are getting ready to start shopping for coffins? But then I read Hickey’s goodbye interview with the Orlando Sentinel, and I’ll be damned if that crooked-tooth, little mother fucker hasn’t pulled me back in.

From the interview:

When it comes to academics, what has been your focus?

Access is one. I was a first-generation college student. I came out of a high school where few went to college. But I worked hard and got financial aid to go to college. Dr. Hitt comes from a similar environment. So access to a college education if [sic] very important to us. Higher education can make all the difference in the world to someone.

I’m fine with giving everyone a chance, but you don’t have to give everyone a degree. UCF degrees are giveaways.

When you took the job, you told people you planned to stay six or seven years.

And I did. It's time to do something else now, time to get out of the way. I started working as a kid, mowing lawns. So I've been working for 55 years. I'm going to take some time to unwind. That includes some tennis. I'm taking up a fitness program — it's Navy Seals-type training. I haven't read for pleasure in years, so I'm looking forward to getting back to that. There was just so much to read connected to the job, no time. I've been approached to do some consulting. But for now, I'll be taking some time to figure out what comes next.

Hickey loves to lie, and this quote is a perfect example of how Hickey can’t help prevaricating even about things that don’t matter. He can’t just say he is going to exercise. He has to say that he is going to do Navy Seals-type training. Really? Seriously? This is right up there with saying the UCF medical school is more selective than Harvard.

Any regrets?

Getting to the point of having to do layoffs. I would have loved to have not had to do that. The last three years of budget-cutting have been tough. But not a week goes by that someone doesn't say thank you. I think we did better than a lot of other institutions.

Well, here’s a week that someone also says “Fuck you, Terry.”